I always find myself asking people in different professions what their “Craziest Story” is. Cops, Doctors, Veterans, Uber drivers, cobblers… doesn’t matter. We have all had something insane happen to us at work. Realtors of course are no different. In fact I would argue that realtors have something “crazy” happen on a weekly or daily basis because we are literally going into people’s homes and dealing with a human’s largest financial asset. So, here is one of my MANY “crazy real estate stories.”

This one happened a few years back. I had a buyer lead come through Zillow and he wanted me to show him a house. We got it all set up and I planned to meet him at the home on a Sunday afternoon. In my experience clients are either 30 minutes early or two hours late. There’s no in between. He… was early.

So, I pull up, get out and look in his car. Empty. Now, it’s important to note that this property was situated in between two heavily brushed vacant lots with a canal in the back. It was very private and basically in the woods, so a perfect place to get murdered by a complete stranger. But, this is our job.

I figured the guy was probably in the back looking at the canal, so I began to walk around the side of the home to this overgrown by brush. As I turn the back corner of the house I am shocked to see my buyer standing on the bank of the canal with his pants all the way down at his ankles, pissing into the canal! He looked like a four year old kid using a urinal for the first time.

Now, there is a list of things that are completely not normal with the situation. But I’ll just name a few:

  1. Being a fully grown tax paying, adult man urinating with your pants at your ankles.
  2. Being a fully grown tax paying, adult man urinating with your pants at your ankles, in a stranger’s yard.
  3. Being a fully grown tax paying, adult man urinating with your pants at your ankles, in a stranger’s yard in broad daylight, while you know a Realtor will be arriving at any moment to show you the home.

I had no control over what happened next upon seeing my buyer’s completely exposed fart box. I audibly shouted, “WHOOOAAAA” and he immediately spun around, mid stream. We made direct eye contact and I can feel his shame. I almost broke my neck turning around as I beelined straight to the house. Not a great first impression.

I get back to the front of the home and try to compose myself as the buyer circles around the corner of the house. We both awkwardly smiled at each other.

As he approaches he says, “hello” and I say “hi!” We both act as if nothing happened. As if I had not just seen his johnson. Once he reaches me he extends his hand…for…a…handshake… and I… shook it.

I didn’t want to be rude despite the fact that I knew what he was doing with that hand just seconds before. Quick side note: At the start of the pandemic I showed a house to a buyer who was clearly sick and he also reached out to shake my hand and I also shook it. It appears I would rather shake the hand of a person that was just holding their wiener or someone that could potentially spread a deadly virus over anyone thinking I’m rude.

All that to say, this buyer never purchased that house and never spoke to me again which is very understandable. Moral of the story: if you see your client peeing into a canal with their pants at their ankles, your odds of closing a deal with them are NOT high.

Watch me relive that story:

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