For as long as I can remember, self-confidence issues and anxiety have been my constant companions. I’ve always had this nagging feeling that I didn’t quite measure up, like I was missing the mark when it came to being good enough. And in just about any situation, I’d find myself feeling like I was the dumbest person in the room, constantly second-guessing every word that I spoke. Let’s just say I was quite the expert in the art of self-sabotage and self-doubt.
Today, I want to open up and be a bit vulnerable with you. Because the truth is, I think a lot of agents tend to feel this way behind closed doors, even though we rarely talk about it.
Evolving Beyond Expectations
The person that I’ve become today is so remarkably different from who I was just six months ago. I used to think that I’d always be the one admiring others. I was the girl attending conferences and thinking, “Wow, that person on stage is radiating confidence. I could never step into those shoes!”
Today, I want to let you in on how I found the confidence to face some truly intimidating tasks – things I could have never even imagined attempting.
Overcoming the Uncomfortable
Back in March, I received an invitation to be on The Walk Thru show. Almost instantly, I began self-sabotaging. I remember thinking to myself, “What on earth did I do to deserve an invite to this show?” I was utterly terrified, grappling with crippling anxiety and drowning in self-doubt. And let me tell you, I was a complete mess during that Walk Thru episode, like an absolute dumpster fire of a human being. I’m pretty sure I managed to squeeze out about two words. I was way outside of my comfort zone, incredibly uneasy, and completely out of my league. But guess what? I did it. And I felt so accomplished afterward. It was as if I had unlocked a new level of confidence. I felt like I could repeat that experience over and over again. It marked the beginning of a new chapter for me. Now, don’t get me wrong—I was still terrified, but it fell right on the other side of my comfort zone.
Following that show, a good friend of mine called me. She had watched me on the show and suggested that I organize a training event for agents centered around social media. In that moment I remember pausing and thinking to myself: there’s just no way on earth that I could ever stand up in front of a crowd and speak. Even the idea felt overwhelmingly intimidating and far too scary. Don’t forget that I failed high school speech, class friends!
Around a week later, I was invited to speak about social media on a panel an agent was organizing. Again, in that moment the self-sabotage started to creep in. I accepted, but I will tell you… for weeks leading up to that panel, I was a wreck. I kept brainstorming ways to back out, and on the day of the panel, I almost faked sick just to get out of speaking. But, guess what? I pushed through those thoughts and drove myself to that panel, even though I was scared. I talked about social media, and you know what? It was great. As the panel wrapped up, the moderator went around and asked a question: “If you had to choose just one thing to leave the audience with, what would it be?”
“Honestly, I seriously considered not showing up today. That’s how overwhelmed by fear I was. But you know what? We’ve got to tackle the things that terrify us, because if we’re not pushing ourselves, we’re just going to remain stagnant. Embrace the scary stuff, because that’s where our personal growth happens.”
Navigating Fear: From Hesitation to Action
After leaving the panel that day, something clicked inside me. I wanted to push myself to face these intimidating situations head on, because I wanted that personal growth. The next day, I called a good friend, and we began sketching out plans for our own social media event. I recognized that going at it alone would be too scary, but having a friend co-host the event provided the accountability I needed to simply go for it. We hosted our event, and it was a huge success, and we’re in the process of planning another. (Send me a DM if you’re interested in learning more!)
The Power of Progress: Small Steps Toward Big Goals
Here’s what I want you to take away from all of this: These are the very things I could never have imagined myself doing. They seemed too scary and too far out of reach. However, the small choices I made—like initially taking part in The Walk Thru—pushed me just beyond my comfort zone and propelled me to take on those larger and more intimidating challenges.
Empowerment through Purpose
Now you might be reading this and thinking, “Well, that’s good for you, Lindsey! But I could never see myself doing any of this!”
I want you to take a moment to pause and reflect on this: I know it’s scary to think about being judged by others, but it’s even scarier to get to the end of your life and realize you let people rob you of the life experiences you were supposed to have because you were scared of what people thought of you. Read that again.
I’m well aware that we all encounter intimidating situations in this career. It’s nerve-wracking to step out of our comfort zones! Listing appointments can be scary. For some of us, not knowing where our next paycheck is coming from is a source of anxiety as well. And let’s be real, this industry does not necessarily scream “collaborative.” Many agents are hesitant to share their strategies because they perceive other agents as competition.
Unveiling Purpose: Finding Your Why
And that brings me to my driving force. Whenever I’m confronted with fear over an opportunity, I turn to my “why.” My purpose. My mission behind it all. And that “why” is you—each and every one of you reading this article. My mission centers around helping Realtors in discovering their voices, in acknowledging that we all grapple with struggles behind the scenes, even if it’s not a widely discussed topic. It’s important to recognize that feeling scared is entirely normal. And in those moments of apprehension, it’s my “why” that pushes me forward to tackle my fears.
Vulnerability and Connection: Embracing Authenticity
I’ve opened up about some genuinely scary chapters of my life here! I’ve shared stories of being bullied, of relying on the assisted lunch program during my high school years, and of my mom’s illness. I have let you into the deepest parts of my life for a reason:
I want to show you that it’s okay to be vulnerable.
It’s absolutely okay to admit that you don’t have everything perfectly figured out all the time.
Finding Your Why: Tactical Tips
And as you know, I always like to equip you with tactical tips. I truly want you to discover and understand your “why.” It is that driving force that propels you forward when you’re confronted with a nerve-wracking opportunity.
So, here are three hands-on strategies to help you uncover your “why”:
1. What lights you up?
Take some time to think about what truly ignites your passion for this career. What topics or activities make you feel alive and motivated?
Consider the instances when you’re completely absorbed in what you’re doing, when you feel a rush of energy and enthusiasm. These are the clues to your passions. It could be the satisfaction of successfully closing a deal, the thrill of crafting creative marketing strategies, or the joy of helping clients find their dream homes.
Identifying your passions isn’t just about listing enjoyable activities; it’s about understanding why they resonate with you. What do they reveal about your strengths, values, and aspirations? Look for common threads that link your passions to your bigger goals.
When you recognize what truly excites you, you’ll naturally be drawn to it. These passions can shape your “why.” They inject your work with purpose and energy, helping you see beyond the doubts that hold you back. Your passions act as a compass, guiding you toward opportunities that drive your growth.
2. Identify Your Impact
Pause for a moment and consider the positive changes you dream of bringing about through your work. What mark do you want to leave on the real estate landscape? Reflect on the ways you want your clients and colleagues to remember you.
Often, our “why” emerges from a deep desire to contribute positively to the lives of others. It’s the driving force that propels you to go beyond the ordinary, to work tirelessly, and to overcome challenges.
When your “why” is anchored in a purpose larger than yourself, it becomes a source of unshakeable motivation.
3. Align with Your Inner Values
Take a moment to reflect on the principles that resonate most deeply with you. What ideals fuel your drive to excel in the real estate industry? Perhaps you’re passionate about transparency, advocating for your clients’ best interests, or fostering a sense of trust and collaboration within your community.
Your “why” is often intertwined with your core values. When your actions align with those values, you understand your sense of purpose and direction. For instance, if integrity is one of your guiding principles, your “why” may revolve around ensuring fairness and honesty in every transaction, even if it means going the extra mile.
Embracing Growth: Moving Beyond Comfort
Discovering your why is the anchor that steadies you when you’re faced with intimidating opportunities. Remember, acknowledging your passions, understanding your desired impact, and aligning with your inner values can guide you toward a clearer sense of purpose. It’s essential to recognize that it’s often the seemingly small and slightly scary steps that propel us forward, gradually allowing us to tackle even more terrifying challenges.