You’re staring at your phone, three days after a listing appointment that went perfectly (or so you thought). The silence is getting loud. You want to reach out, but you don’t want to seem desperate. So, you type out three fatal words: “Just checking in…”
But those words, which feel harmless, are doing more damage than you think.
In a recent clip, Codie Sanchez, founder of Contrarian Thinking, identified seven common phrases that agents use every single day. Phrases that feel polite, professional, even safe, but are actually signaling neediness, eroding trust, and handing control of the deal to someone else.
The fixes are simple. But first, you have to know what to stop saying.
Let’s get into it.
7 Phrases that Kill Deals (and What to Say Instead)
1. “Just checking in”
This usually comes up after a showing or a listing appointment when you’re trying to restart the conversation. It often lands after a few days of silence, when you’re not sure what to say but feel like you should say something.
Codie stated, “It signals you really have no value. Only neediness.”
Here’s what you can say instead:
“Quick idea for you”
That small change forces you to bring something to the table. It could be a price adjustment strategy, a new comp that just hit, or a shift in buyer activity you’re seeing in the market.
Even a short message like, “Quick idea for you based on what I’m seeing this week…” changes how the conversation starts.
2. “Let me know if you’re interested”
This shows up when you send listings or share a CMA and leave the next move up to them.
It feels polite, but here’s why not to say this, in Codie’s words: “This puts all the work on them. People avoid effort.”
What to say instead:
“Does A or B work?”
Give them a decision that’s easy to make.
Instead of asking if they’re interested, ask if they want to see the home Thursday or Saturday. Instead of sending a CMA and waiting, ask if they want to review it together now or later tonight.
3. “To be honest”
This often slips in during pricing conversations or when you’re about to say something that may feel uncomfortable. It usually comes right before you challenge expectations.
As Codie said, it “implies you weren’t being honest before. It triggers distrust.”
What to say instead:
“Here’s the trade-off.”
Clients don’t need a warning that you’re about to be real with them. When you frame things as a trade-off, you’re helping them see the consequences of each option.
For example, pricing high might mean more time on market. Pricing sharper could bring stronger early activity.
4. “Are you a decision-maker?”
Oof. This tends to come up when you’re trying to figure out who has authority, especially with couples.
Codie spells out exactly why this is a deal-killer: “This attacks status. And people hate feeling small.”
What to say instead:
“Who else should join?”
This keeps the conversation collaborative. It also positions you as someone who wants to ensure everyone with a stake in the decision is present and kept in the loop.
In real estate, deals slow down when key people aren’t in the room. Asking who else should be involved helps you avoid repeating conversations and keeps everyone aligned from the start.
This is how you bring others into the process without putting anyone on the spot (or implying that the person in front of you is overstepping or wasting your time).
5. “We can discount it.”
This shows up fast when there’s pushback on commission or pricing. It often comes out before the client even fully explains their concern.
Here’s how Codie framed it: “You’ve basically just told them the first price was fake.”
What to say instead:
“Here’s your ROI.”
If you go straight to discounting, you’ve made your service feel negotiable. When you shift to ROI, you’re reframing the entire conversation around outcomes.
Walk them through what your pricing strategy does for their net. Show how exposure, negotiation, and positioning affect their final number. When clients understand the upside, price becomes part of a bigger picture.
6. “Sorry to bother you.”
This often comes out in follow-ups or outreach when you’re trying to be polite. It’s meant to soften the interruption.
Codie explained why you should never say this: “This frames you as an annoyance, not a solution.”
What to say instead:
“I’ll keep this brief.”
You can respect someone’s time without apologizing for reaching out. There’s a reason you’re contacting them. Lead with that.
A quick message like, “I’ll keep this brief, wanted to highlight something that could impact your timing…” keeps your footing.
Now, you’re respecting their time without shrinking your role or the value you bring.
7. “No problem.”
This comes up in everyday interactions and confirmations with clients. It’s one of those phrases people use without thinking.
It sounds harmless. But here’s why it’s not, in Codie’s words: “It subconsciously implies there could have been a problem.”
Sort of like saying, “Not bad,” when someone asks how you are or how a date went, instead of something like “Better now” or “Fantastic” (assuming an absence of sarcasm).
What to say instead:
“Absolutely”
or
“Of course”
These responses feel more certain. They reinforce that you’re steady and reliable in how you show up.
It’s a small adjustment. People notice it more than you think.
Small Language Edits That Help You Close More Deals
None of these phrases will necessarily ruin a deal on their own. But they add up over time and shape how clients see you.
Worse, they also impact your own attitude, which makes it more likely you’ll let phrases like these slip out, even when you’re otherwise feeling on top of things.
Every word you choose either reinforces your value or chips away at it. The agents who stay consistent with their language tend to keep more control of the conversation and make decisions easier for their clients.
Start paying attention to the small things you say in texts, calls, and meetings. Swap out even one of these phrases this week and see how people respond.
