The Cost of Love: How Money Impacts Move-In Decisions

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, two new studies show how money impacts move-in decisions among couples. 

A Zillow study shows single renters—meaning renters who are solely responsible for housing costs—pay what amounts to a “singles tax” of nearly $7,000 a year. 

And that’s just the national average. In pricier metros, the amount can be as high as $19,500. Put another way, cohabitating renters can save a collective $14,000 a year—or more—just by living together. 

Another study, conducted by Realtor.com® and HarrisX, shows how high housing costs have some couples deciding to cohabitate before they are ready. With so many Americans struggling to pay the bills and save money, it’s not surprising more of them are splitting the rent.  

And who better to do that with than someone who might just be marriage material?

If only it were that simple. 

Markets with the highest “singles tax’

While singles across the U.S. pay a steep price for living solo, the size of the “singles tax” varies depending on where they live. 

The price of living alone (or being the sole tenant responsible for the rent) is highest in New York City, where, according to StreetEasy, singles pay $19,500 more a year compared to someone sharing the rent with a partner (or roommate) in the same place. 

That number rises to around $24,000 in Manhattan (the most expensive borough). 

San Francisco is close behind, charging solo tenants a $14,000 a year “singles tax” for a typical one-bedroom apartment. 

Couples living in more expensive cities can save up to $39,000 a year by moving in together. That’s a considerable savings—and one that can help with paying student loans, consumer debt, or saving for a wedding or a down payment on a home. 

Of the 50 largest U.S. metros (by population), Detroit and Cleveland are at the other end of the spectrum, charging the lowest “singles tax” at $4,483 and $4,387, respectively. 

Living alone has its perks — you never have to share a bathroom, you have a claim to the TV at all times, and dirty dishes can stack up as long as you want, judgment free. But all that freedom comes with a cost. Even though rent prices are starting to cool, they are still significantly higher than they were a year ago. Renters considering going solo this year must decide how valuable living alone is to them, and if the cost is worth it.

Amanda Pendleton

Zillow Home Trends Expert

It’s worth pointing out that the “singles tax” also applies to happy “significant others” that choose to continue living separately. 

On the flip side, singles who are not involved in a romantic relationship can avoid the singles tax by sharing the cost of a rental with a roommate—who could be a platonic friend, a relative, or just someone whose company they can tolerate. 

How money impacts move-in decisions

Given the stress so many are feeling related to everyday expenses, debt, and the challenge of saving money, it’s understandable that more Americans are choosing to pair up or find multiple roommates to share the burden of housing costs. 

Realtor.com® and HarrisX conducted a survey with 3,009 consumers to explore the impact of today’s expensive housing market on people’s love lives. 

Eighty percent of Gen Z respondents admit that finances and/or logistics contributed to their decision to move in with a romantic partner, compared to—

• 76% of Millennials
• 56% of Gen X
• 44% of Baby Boomers, and
• 63% of all respondents

Living with a romantic partner might bring a couple closer together, but it can also magnify potential issues in a relationship. While the idea of splitting the rent or mortgage can be very attractive, it’s important to have tough conversations with your partner and think through how living together will work before you take the plunge.

Clare Trapasso

Executive News Editor

Gen Z respondents, who have had to navigate notoriously high housing costs since reaching adulthood, were the most likely of all generations to say that saving money (by splitting the cost of housing) was a contributing factor in their decision to move in with a romantic partner. 

Seventy percent of all respondents said they were able to save a significant amount by moving in with their partner:

• $1- $500 (27%)
• $501 – $1,000 (20%)
• $1,001 – $2,000 (13%)
• $2,001 – $5,000 (6%)
• More than $5,000 (4%)

This is money they could use to pay off debt, save for a rainy-day fund, or put aside for a down payment on a home. 

A significant share of respondents who cohabited with a partner moved into a home one person already rented (37%) or owned (21%). Thirty percent started fresh with a new rental, and 9% took a leap of faith and bought a home together. 

Unfortunately, not all such arrangements work out. 

42% of those who move in with a romantic partner regret their decision

Moving in with a partner can reveal red flags that were easy to hide when both partners lived in separate homes:

• Daily routines (or the lack thereof) and each one handles change
• Previously unknown problems with debt, overdue bills, constant borrowing, etc. 
• A need to control where the other is (and with whom) at all times
• Rudeness toward the neighbors, custodial staff, etc. 
• A tendency to hoarding—or to extreme minimalism—at the other’s expense

Not all such arrangements work out. And the reasons given as to why over 40% regret their decision to move in with a partner include these:

1. 48% — “Our relationship didn’t work out.”
2. 31% — “We moved too fast/rushed into it.”
3. 27% — “I/we realized we weren’t compatible for co-living.”
4. 26% — “Living together made it harder to break up (which was necessary).”
5. 22% — “When we broke up, it was stressful to divide the things we had purchased together.”
6. 22% — “The stress of living together destroyed our relationship.”
7. 19% — “The logistics of moving out after a breakup were too difficult.”
8. 17% — “We broke up soon after moving in together.” 

When you’re renting or purchasing real estate together, it’s important to make sure you’re both financially protected. For example, if you’re buying a home together as an unmarried couple, it may be a good idea to chat with a real estate attorney first to figure out what would happen with the home in the event that you broke up.

Clare Trapasso

Executive News Editor

Don’t think of it as a contract. But, yes, that’s what it is.

Almost a third (31%) of survey respondents who have lived with a partner signed a binding agreement outlining what would happen if they broke up. Younger respondents were much more likely to do this, with 54% of Gen Z and 47% of Millennials agreeing to a contract. 

Considering both these generations have early experience with housing costs that consume more of their income, compared to older generations, this finding suggests Gen Z and Millennials may be more financially and/or legally savvy—by necessity. 

Both generations have learned, from a younger age, the importance of protecting their investments. 

What can you do to help?

Ultimately, whether each renter in your area chooses to live alone or with their partner (or other roommates) is a personal choice. 

For some, the independence and solitude they enjoy as solo renters is worth more than the money they could save if they shared the rent with someone else. For others, living alone is a luxury they can’t afford. 

Since some renters in your area are likely interested in becoming homeowners at some point, be prepared to assess each one’s unique situation and preferences in order to evaluate their options and help them identify the best fit—even if it means renting for a while longer. 

If that’s the case, you can direct them to tools and resources that can help them save money each month and improve their credit scores.